I don't know...
Okay, I didn't think I would lose it...I did. I went over to DJP's apartment so that we could exchange keys and give each other stuff we had borrowed from on another (mainly CD's). Anyway, we talked, we cried. As he sat on his bed all I could think about was just grabbing him and holding him and falling asleep with him in my arms. I will miss that. I asked him not to call until I was ready. I sort of regret that. I know he loves me and I know I still love him, but it's so hard to just forgive someone for such an act.
As I drove home, I lost it. I had the radio up and I just started to scream from the top of my lungs. My eyes started to burn and I knew I had to call someone. I could hardly drive home. I called my sister...and of course she was wonderful. I love her so much. She set me straight once again. I honestly do not know what I would do without her!
DG as also been a source of strength for me. We had a great conversation last night as well. It was nothing in particular, just that type of talk that keeps your mind off of the real world. It was healthy.
Bottom line...I don't know. I know DJP regrets what he did. I know I'm willing to forgive him...I just hope he'll be around.