Here he is... 

"No Mangia, No Mangia!" "Yes, Lutha, Yes!"

Really quick, great story. Mangia's Mangiasaurus Rex was vandalized on the 22nd. His head shattered in a thousand pieces. Okay, now the great part of this. UT is restoring him at the Texas Memorial Museum on campus. They're using the same techniques they would in restoring an actual dinosaur. Good for them. More later. By the way, the title quote is from Caveman starring Ringo Starr, great fucking movie!!!

"Please welcome to stage the one, the only, the incomparable--Twinkle M"

My sister is coming into town Thursday to attend DAA (Distinguished Alumnus Awards) with me on Friday. DAA is our formal gala at work where we get to rub elbows with Ambassadors, Senators, Congressmen and women, a Noble Prize Winner and several millionaires-and oh yea a celebrity (of sorts), Anne Archer (wife to Michael Douglas' character in Fatal Attraction). It should be interesting...great food, open bar...

Anyways, I'm looking forward to seeing Melissa. We haven't had a chance to get together where it's just the two of us in a very long time. I hope she's up for late night conversations and confession-booth style honesty. I miss those conversations with her. I have this old picture of us in the backyard of our old house. We're playing on our swing set and two of our dogs (Twinkle and Boots) are in it. Funny story: they say you can determine your Drag Queen name by combining your first female dog's (or other pet) name and your mother's maiden name. Mine would be "Twinkle M." Work it honey!!!

Back to my point, I love that picture. I'm not sure when it was taken but I know it's safe to say it was taken before I was molested by my cousin. Reason? You can see the innocence in both us. You know? You can see the child. My sister knew everything, we dealt with this problem together- but for that moment, in that freeze frame you can tell how carefree we were. with our innocence intact...We had no idea that in such a short time our world would never be the same.

My sister and I have a special bond. We understand each other. We have gone through so much together.

So we will "dance the night away." We will talk about everything(and everybody) under the sun. We will rejoice and more than likely cry. We will share our feelings. We will talk about our childhood. We will talk about how we will protect our children and educate them about the dangers of the world. I will hold her and make all the bad shit go away and she will do the same for me...much like we did growing up.

Love you Missy

Frost Bank Tower 

Correction: "Hate me, loath me, detest me, just faint!"

I've finally seen the 360 degree view from the top floor of the Frost Bank Tower here in Austin. My thoughts...eh? Not too impressed. I'm sure its a lot nicer at night. Tonight DP and I are going to have a movie night and just spend quality time with one another. Tomorrow I work the Texas/Rice game. Sunday I will veg...you know, lay like broccoli.

Have a wonderful weekend. Be safe...

(see below) Again, I love this one too. Same reason. "you seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex" I love that!!! I love it even better when DP sings it (it's soooo fucking cute)

Love this fucking CD!!! In a year, when I come across it at the bottom of my case, I will think of DP and the begining of our relationship. The events, the conversations, the kisses... 

DP did this for me. I love it! It's on my desktop.  

"You like me, you really like me!" "I wanna fly you to Mars and make mad love to you!" "Stop that stick-man!" "I love my brother so much right now!"

Okay, DP and I went to the Alamo Draft House for Videoke. It was a blast! Here's the premise: members of the audience pick a scene from the "Videoke Clips Menu" (and you can make suggestions) and then they act that scene out while it plays on the big screen behind them. A panel of "Celebrity Judges" score you and the top three compete in the final round where unbeknownst to the finalist-a scene is picked by the audience for them to act out. It was a fucking riot! I laughed so fucking hard. There was a black girl who did Forrest Gump. A couple did the fuck scene in Monster Ball. Pee-Wee Herman and his Tequilla dance was done to perfection (or whatever). Lucy Liu and her Chinese or American heritage questioning scene was memorable. I wish someone would've done Purple Rain or The Deer Hunter Roulette scene. Oh well, it was still so much fun. Have a wonderful week. And do your homework (Hemingway Challenge)

¡Esta foto hace que mi corazón salta!
 

for me... 

my honey, with S 

What in Tarnation...?

Now, the explanation of the three movie stills (see below). They are from a documentary being released this fall by Jonathan Caouette called Tarnation. A Texan who filmed his family and self over a 19 year period! Here are some reasons why I'm obviously excited about its release: It was made entirely on iMovie, Apple's consumer-grade editing software, budget was $218.32-the cost of videotapes and a pair of angel wings. He's gay, his inspiration has come from a varied of sources including Paul Morrissey, Alejandro Jodorowsky, and David Lynch to name a few. The music in the movie, according to Caouette, is a huge driving force and maybe one of the single most important elements in the film. He is only a year older than me. He covers his mother with her health problems and apparent drug use. He has a son. And oh yea, Gus Van Sant told him it was the best thing he as seen in very long time.

OMG, I just received DP's submission for Hemingway's Challenge (read Saturday's post). And of course he text messaged it:

Still broken, some tape, and revenge... -DP

And of course, I fucking love it!

In smaller comparison, here are some of mine:

He held his lifeless body tightly.

Door shut lights out. They fall.

His metrosexuality confused him once again.

"Don't shout! Please stop! It hurts!"

He rescued him from the madness.

The mysterious deep end held secrets.

Gotta go. DP and I are headed to the Alamo Draft House for Videoke.

More... 

about this... 

later. Can't wait!!!

Hemingway Challenge

Ernest Hemingway challenged to write a story in six words. The result: "For sale: baby shoes, never used." It was rumored he thought it his greatest work. Others followed suit.

"Forgive me! "What for?" "Never mind." -John Updike

"Satan-Jehovah-fifteen rounds. A draw." -Norman Mailer

Saigon hotel. Decades later. He weeps. -Robert Olen Butler

She gave. He took. He forgot. -Tobias Wolf

Poison; meditation; skiing, ants-nothing worked. -Edward Albee

My nemesis is dead. Now what? -Michael Cunningham

Father died. Mother triumphed. I left. -Mary Gaitskill

"You? Her? No dice, fat boy." -Pinckney Benedict

Horny professor. Failing coed. No tenure. -Sue Grafton

So I challenge you to do the same. I will work on mine and post it later. What else? DP and I went to dinner last night at Frank and Angie's downtown and then went over to OCH. This feels good...

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

tHe PiCtUrE

Here it is...he's in the back between the two guys. I had no idea who he was when I snapped this...

Here is DP, the guy I've been "Digging"...I still plan to post "the picture" 

And another...by-the-way this is in Austin by the 360 bridge  

Weeee 

Baby steps to my big heart...

What's this? What's this? Inspired to write? To what do I owe this wonderful non-too-frequent occurrence? Well, in all honesty it comes from DP.

I'm still riding his wonderful euphoric wave
that his wind and moon provide me.
It seems as if he's been around,
always in the background,
felt but not heard;
and only recently as he been placed
in front of me.

I enjoy his hand movements, his facial expressions, his intense response to topics and ideas he's so passionate about. I enjoy his text messages that have this huge impact on me. Such as: "From under the umbrella of the unspoken, I see you giving me that look..." Or a simple "I miss you" or "When I look at you I squint...You are that beautiful." I don't know...

This doesn't seem real in a way. I know how important it is to take baby steps and of course the whole "it's the honeymoon phase, it will go away" thing seems to echo a little, but I must say the approach we are both taking on this is different for us. We are both tired of failed relationships because of non-communication and lack of honesty. All relationships need to have that, I mean that's a given, but to actually practice and express it is something totally different. And if feels great! So welcome me to the world of, "I told you it doesn't have to be this difficult" type of relationship. Smooth seems to be the correct word here for the type of relationship we have. Does that make sense?

I always find myself falling back on music. I mean the things that have come up in my life that were either difficult or wonderful, music seemed to be the taming of those beasts or the reason endorphins were released, you know? So now when I listen to music it means something different. Yes, it takes me to that point in time, but now DP is apart of that somehow. I really can't explain it. And it's just starting to do this so when I understand it more, I'll convey the thoughts. I felt it important to share because the change is just occurring and I've read that early documentation can lead to a better understanding of why. So don't think I'm a freak or anything...I'm starting to understand the nuts and bolts that make up my very own grey matter upstairs.

I can't help but think about who my friends are at this particular moment. And I gotta tell ya'll, I've learned that I had this thing about how I allowed myself to be with people who I wanted as a friend. And this is a huge break-through...I felt like I had to allow them to fall for me in a way. If they initially fell in love then I could be their friend in the end. Not every single gay male I liked as a friend has, but the few who did I apologize to because when I didn't reciprocate those feelings I was out the door. And I blamed them for it.

Now, I'm just this single guy digging this English bloke and hoping to mend some broken fences that could possibly lead to a wonderful circle of friends. Have a wonderful week.

Pictures of You

Okay, a lot has happen so lets get started. DP is this guy I made reference to earlier last week, "born in Canada, raised in England..." well, he's kinda of just fallen' into my life. I really can't explain what's going on, but we've been hanging out and we really enjoy each others company. Sunday night we talked about what it is we are doing and what we both are wanting out of "this" and we came to an understanding that we want the same things. Great!

Okay, now the freaky part about all this. On Friday, we met out at OCH after the event I had to attend for work. Anyway, while talking that night, I found out we both lived in Kansas City around the same time and realized we knew some of the same people. Yet we never met until just recently. Furthermore, we both hung out at the same coffee shop, The Planet. Oh, it gets better. Later that evening after leaving OCH I was sharing pictures I had taken shortly before I left Kansas City. They we taken of different people I knew that were at The Planet one evening. Well, I looked at one photo and about fell on the floor. It was a picture I took of two of my friends...and guess who is in the middle, posing none-the-less. Yep, DP! We couldn't believe it. How in the world would I have a picture of a guy I never met while living in the same city and in such close proximity, having the same friends-yet some 4 of 5 years later we do meet and I show him this particular picture? How? Wouldn't you think I would remember a gorgeous guy with a freakin adorable British accent who lived in the mid-west? I would've remembered him. Well, he also has a picture I took of one the owners of The Planet. I gave it to the owner before I left Kansas City and he taped it behind the bar. Well DP asked for it and now owns a picture of our friend which I took. Too weird!!!

Anyway, I really don't know what to think about all of this. What I do know is that I really enjoy being around him. I enjoy his company, his smile, his laugh, his ambition, his sensitivity...we'll see...operative word here...patience. I will not rush into anything! I'm not ready for any sort of...well you know the dreaded "r" word...just kidding.

And then again this all could mean absolutely nothing at all, you know?

Who would like for me to post "the picture?"

Let's see, what else is going on. We had our first home game. How can I explain the experience? Maddening, yet exhilarating and amusing all in some strange mix. Anyway, to recap, I work at the Alumni Center on the University of Texas campus and the center is located directly across the street from the football stadium. And several hours before each game we open the center to members and they basically drink and yell and become sort of oblivious to their surroundings. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast working the event. Hell, I even went to the game. It was the first time two Bevo's (team's mascot) were on the field at the same time (one outgoing, one incoming). I'm not an UT alumnist, but I love UT all the same. I plan to get my masters here. After the game, I hung out with JC (a co-worker) at his place, which is walking distance to mine on West Campus. Anyway, we stayed up until 4 in the morning talking about our past relationships, family, being gay, and of course I threw in DP...

With all this being said, though, I still can't help but feel pressured over cappuccino, you know? I still can't get away from that one strong feeling. And it pisses me off I can't get away from it...but then again, it is still too early-anyway I forgot to mention something: "god bless you in your travels, in your conquest and queries..."

my, my, me oh my...

Born in Canada, raised in England, lives in Austin...we are so lucky!!!